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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does your DH think about the situation?  Has he ever said anything to his mom?  I have a similar MIL and I just stopped calling and helping.  Moving out of state helped too.  But more than anything else, I finally feel free.  My mental health is in a much better place now. [/quote]

My MIL is like this. After 10 years of knowing her (dating anns then marriage)  and trying hard, I just stopped making any effort and frankly stopped caring at all. My DH is genuinely fine with it. We also moved out of state which was very helpful.

My DH definitely played a role by being too wishy-washy early in the relationship, and allowing this treatment at times. MIL is now much older and in poor health- and likely won’t be around for much longer. DH talks to her regularly and visits her alone, and I support that. I have not spoken with her in years. DH puts the kids on the phone to talk to her here and there but does not take them to visit (his choice).

Just disengage, as long as it is not a problem for your DH. [/quote]

This sounds like my situation too.  DH did nothing for the first 5?10? years except the "you two need to work this out" BS, which led to arguments between us.  She simply was difficult, doesn't like me (I'm white, DH is not--I suspect this is the problem but maybe not) and just generally couldn't be bothered.

I'm never going to stand between someone and their mother, he can talk to her or see her whenever he wants. I'm just done.[/quote]

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