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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This was my suspicion. I live with my two teens and he has a 9 yo. We've been together over a year and I know it may be on his mind to ask me to move in. My gut tells me to just keep it as is until they head to college. We both have homes about 20 min from each other, his is just larger, so in his mind it makes sense. But I think for kids it's enough change having shifted houses from the divorce (schools/activities/friends all stayed the same).

The personal experiences are really helpful to hear-- if anyone works where they see the impact of "wishful thinking," I would love to hear. [/quote]

You should definitely wait until your kids are both off to college.

Also, it’s hard to move into someone else’s house. It would probably be better to buy a new house together instead of trying to make space for your kids and yourself in “his” house.

Honestly though, it might be hard to try to integrate households even with a new house. You’ll get used to your peaceful home after your kids go to college and then move in with your boyfriend right when his own son is entering the teen years — generally everyone’s least favorite stage of parenting.

If you’re financially secure and you don’t need your boyfriend’s financial contributions, then you should continue to date and avoid marriage. That’s the fun part anyways.

[/quote]

+1. OP there is no question if your kids are teens. Wait until they’re in college to move. Also be aware that things are complicated for life. Pace yourself and save your energy for navigating the complexity of having adult children as a blended family.

- adult child of a blended family, didn’t have to live with the other kids, still hate how complex it is and it never ends. [/quote]

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