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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I (about to turn 47) have a few very close friends. No one I met after 45, but I was 44 and she was 47, so I’ll count it…

We moved in my late 30s and I read at the time that the biggest predictor of whether you’ll be friends with someone is whether you have repeat, unplanned interactions. I assume that’s because you have something (neighborhood, work, hobby, kids sports etc) in place to begin with.

I hate to tell you but the one friend felt like dumb luck plus repeat exposure. Though there might have been some kindergarten teacher intuition as well.

I was at my then kindergartners’ talent show. I asked the woman next to me if her child was performing. She said “no, he’s just over there with friends watching the show”. I asked his name (I’ll call him Steve) and grade (5th).

I said “oh my gosh! He’s my kindergartner, Sally’s reading buddy! I’m so glad we met. She’s been so sad about how hard it is to learn to read, but Steve wrote her the kindest, most encouraging card about how he didn’t know how until the end of first grade and she’s smart and is working hard and he knows she’s getting frustrated, but also knows it out.”

The mom said “I’m quite sure you have the wrong Steve.  My kid has never written a note like that in his life.”

She walked over and said “Hey, Steve, who’s your kindergarten reading buddy?” And he lit up with this huge grin and said “Sally!”

We then ran into each other at a party a few weeks later. Sally had just been going to speech therapy and we were suspecting ADHD (since diagnosed). She was having huge outbursts at school. The mom told me anout how this sounded like Steve annd what her experiences had been.  She was at a point where she worried about Steve generally and felt comfort knowing he was being kind.

Obviously these days we talk about many broader topics than our kids (I have 3rd and 7th girls; she has 4th and 8th boys) and their diagnoses - actually the first party after the talent show she was considering applying to a new position at work and asked what I thought  - but it started out with our kids being matched and then us eventually meeting as well.
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What a lovely way to make a friend! It’s always so nice to hear strangers or acquaintances say positive things about your child, isn’t it?[/quote]

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