Reply to Subtle signs of emotional abuse?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Subtle signs of emotional abuse?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re usually a frog in a pot of water brought to boiling. Keep a journal of reality, hide it daily, use it as a reference, go back and see how frequent the BS, gaslighting and lies are.

[/quote]

I think keeping a journal is a good idea.  And if your DH isn't a total jerk, try pushing back with clear statements about how he is arguing.  "I don't like how you are making me feel guilty for your actions".  When you push back, if he doubles down or gets enraged, you know what you need to do.  If you are eventually able to have some clear conversations with him about how he's interacting, great.  But after 19 years a lot of your habits will be engrained pretty hard so shifting them healthier will be a huge amount of work.  Only you know if it's worth it.[/quote]

I kept a running note on my phone as a journal (locked, of course). When my divorce was final I went back and looked at entries from 10 years ago- tiny little notes that seemed inconsequential at the time but also worth writing down. As I scroll up it’s really upsetting to see the pattern continue and escalate. It’s hard to see in the moment and tempting to take each event as separate and unrelated. [/quote]

Same. And when you’re keeping it together to run the house and kids by yourself plus work and keep your sanity you don’t have the luxury to zoom out and see how $hitty things are, nor strategize on what to do.

I guess I was lucky in that I stepped back during COVID, was at my parents with the kids, read a bunch of literature on his behavior and Dx, had a good psychologist well versed in dealing with people with those Dx (they prefer to work with and help family members since they do the work to cope better and leave), and a NAMI group of women in various stages of the same NT/AS situation.

After six months, things were clear. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics