Reply to Anyone’s exDH try to use family caregiving for custody?

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Reply to "Anyone’s exDH try to use family caregiving for custody?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][twitter][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From a practical standpoint, if she lives in the UK, how often do you think it is even possible that she will be taking care of your kids.

I wouldn't add anything in for those rare occasions. [/quote]

+1  I wouldn't get into a tit for tat about mother in laws when yours is on another continent and his is likely to be living in the same house as the child soon.  Concentrate on keeping things amicable so that it will naturally make more sense in his mind to call you when he's called out of town, before booking a plane ticket.
[/quote]

I’m OP and you have it mixed up. STBexMIL lives permanently in the Uk. DH would fly her the 6 hours or whatever whenever he had a work trip so she could babysit. And then fly her back to the UK. She is the primary caregiver for another grandchild there.

My mom is local. She does not live with us, and probably won’t for 3-4 years. I don’t anticipate her providing childcare ever but am concerned about my child being a teen one day and wanting to stay home alone and not being able to if she does move in with us.[/quote]

This will sort itself out. UK Granny will do this 1-2x and you’ll end up with the kids.

Play the long game.

[/quote]

This, he will still get his "appearances and pride" with this.

Oh, look how wonderful he is, he's such a devoted dad, has 50/50 custody even with his packed schedule, and he makes soooo much money, look how he flew grandma from the UK, isn't that nice, what a great guy! (Meanwhile he did it twice out of eight work trips, is getting discounted child support, and the time he does spend with the kid he's probably on his work phone)[/quote]

OP and yeah, I think you summed it up pretty nicely here. I pray that it will be twice out of eight work trips. The reality is more like 20-30 trips per year and even if she only covered 25% of them that would still be a ton of time. And I won’t be able to renegotiate child support without returning to court, which will be expensive and require a track record of him regularly bailing on visitation for an extended period of time. My state is every 2 years for child support modification barring a “significant” change in circumstances, and that would be totally missed visitation, not bailing out half the time for travel.

He’s kind of got a brilliant plan here.[/quote]

There's been some good advice in the thread. See if you can get a right of first refusal over a certain length of time, say for anything involving overnight. [/quote]

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