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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He filed for divorce when he found a better narcissistic supply. And then went to war against me. It has been relentless and insane and expensive. Everyone in my life who says "but that doesn't make sense....why is he behaving like this if he's supposedly in love with someone else?"....doesn't understand clinical NPD.  My STBX is doing whatever TF he can to try to control me. It really doesn't matter who files first - leaving a narcissistic relationship is incredibly challenging even if they are the ones who want it.

Someone on this board recommended the book Splitting which was incredibly helpful. It gave me a clear picture of how my divorce has played out and is still playing out.  The only surprise is no surprise.  He has alienated the adult kids from me, which is also text book.

With tons of therapy I have 1. looked at what it was in me that chose to be with someone like him (raised by a narcissist - I can see now that my ex is an insanely extreme version of my parent. I was primed to be comfortable with that kind of uncomfortable behavior - it was familiar and I learned how to manage it as a child....) 2. I have a playbook for his behavior and it's literally all in this book so nothing surprises me (believe me I still get plenty angry but I've done a lot of work on acknowledging the anger and letting go). 3. I have made peace with the parental alienation - it's not a winnable battle. Eventually they will probably realize what happened. For now I keep lines of communication open, still send cards and gifts, and focus on staying strong to get through this.

My ex wants to try to destroy me. I know it's Mel Robbins-ish and she's polarizing (but I love her) and I say "let him try. he won't."

I miss having my kids in my life but I can't control that. My life away from my ex is still 100000000 times better.

Educate yourself on what you will be up against and don't expect him to change or be reasonable in any way shape or form. That's more powerful than you can imagine because your ex still believes the narrative that you are not aware of how you were manipulated and controlled. Use it to your advantage. GOOD LUCK! There is light at the end of the tunnel.[/quote]

I’m so sorry. Sending you a hug [/quote]

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