Reply to Teen burdened by younger sibling

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Teen burdened by younger sibling"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe they are pissed because a disproportionate amount of time and energy goes to the sibling while they have to hold it together. [/quote]

Op here. I want to negate this by saying, I watched a movie with this teen on Friday. It was really fun. I took them shopping for Hoco even though I had a busy day. I bought them an expensive item/gear for their sport today. Like we’ve been talking about it for months, and finally did it this morning. And they got to go out with friends from 6-midnight last night (break from us, fun time out).

This isn’t me explaining why they should be ok, but more like.. what else could you want as for attention?[/quote]

Time and energy.

How often are family plans (so all of you doing something together) made to accommodate the younger child? How often are family plans changed because of the younger child?

Are family plans ever made/changed for the older child? Are they always having to be flexible and willing to give in so the younger child doesn’t melt down?
[/quote]

Actually no. Between the two of us parents, we help the adhd child calm down, and the other of us can drive the other child, etc. It isn’t so frequent, and adhd has been bouncing back quickly  using tools from therapy to get through it.[/quote]

You said earlier "There has been a little bit of improvement, but there could be moments or days that are tough." Sounds like you're trying to spin it more positively now. Look, if the whole day is tough, the family life is disrupted. Yes, rides are important, keeping plans is important, but what's really important is a peaceful home and not constantly having the stress of someone melting down. And not being expected to tiptoe around another person's issues. You seem to think that driving them here and there and giving them 1:1 time for certain specific time periods should be enough. It isn't. Your child wants a peaceful home and to not have to constantly accommodate to forestall a meltdown. You're probably making your older kid accommodate more often than you realize.

I, an adult, understand that some kids are special needs siblings and that is how it is, it's the cards life has dealt them. But your teen is a teen and is not yet at that level of understanding. You are pressuring your child to have the maturity of an adult and that doesn't work. Or maybe your teen has a problem with impulsivity and you should see that as a special needs as well. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics