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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My youngest is in college, and I only know of two recent divorces among my friend group:  one was a marriage that has visibly foundered for years, and one was a couple that had always lived somewhat separate lives (e.g, they still had separate bank accounts).  I don't know of any divorces among couples that seem happily married.   [/quote]

Interesting...I'm pushing 60 and I don't know 1 person in a "happy marriage". The thing is people have to be completely miserable to divorce. But "happy" nope. Happy life, yes... but how much the marriage contributes to the happiness I just don't see it.

Most live separately together. [/quote]

My 60-something brother and his wife of many years are in such a happy marriage it's nauseating.  So it does happen.

We've also been married for decades and our kids are long out of the house.  We live totally separate lives in our two houses (primary and second/vacation homes), travel separately, etc.  We see each other when we're with the kids and grandkids, which is often, and we are perfectly civil with each other and it's never awkward between us and the rest of the clan.  We've both just moved on.  But we will never divorce because it's just not worth the trouble.  We have plenty of money and we both have the same approach to spending and everything is joint and an open book, so . . .

My brother says we're basically a married couple with separate bedrooms that happen to be 100 miles apart, and he's right -- except the houses aren't quite that far apart ha ha.

It works for us.[/quote]

I don’t see anything wrong with that arrangement, you’re happy.

I actually see my ex about once a week, we talk a few times a week, we travelled to college visits together, we do holidays together, just redid our will and consulted each other . You and I sound a lot alike except the marital status.[/quote]

Yea, it's just ended up this way and it's not a big deal at all.  There's still a lot of mutual respect.  It definitely helps that we have a nice nest egg, nearly identical approaches to money, and a very open book about all of that -- so not only don't we have to worry about money, we don't ever take issue without the other's spending.  In fact, we're typically urging the other (by text ha ha) to spend a little more.

Yes, we do all the holidays together.  We text often as we together manage our small "enterprise."  We help out with grandkids to the extreme (none has ever been in day care or had a babysitter although all the parents work), handing them off between each other depending on who's busy.  Etc.

Basically we bought a second home in the country when Covid hit and one of us just ended up living in it.  Again, it works.[/quote]

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