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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"And although this is DCUM, some of you must live in beknighted states in which "adultery" includes relationships after a separation and has negative legal consequences during a divorce. Thankfully, that is not the case in DC, VA or MD."

OMG! You are so misinformed. You absolutely need to speak with an attorney ASAP so that you stop harming your legal position, if you live in VA. VA doesn't recognize separation. You're either married or you're not. (I dated someone who was in the process of finishing his divorce in VA after many years of living separately from his ex and we consulted with his attorney about minimizing any harm that our relationship could cause to his case.) In VA, you are 100% still married, and as such, sleeping with someone who is not your spouse is going to be used against you in the divorce. To sleep with him inside your "marital home" is just gasoline on the fire. Expect to pay even more alimony than you are already on the hook for if you keep this up. You're also being a real jerk by pretending that you might reunite after the 6 months when all of your actions said otherwise. Your kids and mutual friends will see this and think worse of you because of it.

"In Virginia, even post-separation relationships can be considered adultery. Most courts will not impose criminal penalties and many judges will not award a divorce based on adultery, but it’s important to know that it may be an issue in your case. For that reason, most divorce attorneys will recommend using discretion in pursuing new relationships." https://www.melonelawpc.com/blog/im-separated-and-dating-will-this-hurt-my-case/

"Many states legally recognize separation. In such states, a marriage remains intact during separation, but the spouses live separate lives. Virginia is one of a handful of states that don’t recognize legal separation.

This means that couples in Virginia can only be married or divorced. Even if spouses choose to separate and one moves out of the shared family home, they’re legally still married in the eyes of the law until divorce proceedings are complete."
 
"Virginia recognizes both no-fault and at-fault divorce. When a married couple mutually decides to end the marriage, they typically opt for a no-fault divorce. However, dating while still married can end up giving your spouse grounds to file for an at-fault divorce."

"In Virginia, an at-fault divorce can impact how assets are divided and the amount of alimony one spouse is ordered to pay the other. Dating can lead you to lose out on alimony you would have been awarded or can leave you paying a higher amount than you would have paid if you’d waited to date until the marriage was over. " https://www.achowdhurylaw.com/blog/yes-you-can-date-while-separated-in-virginia-but-heres-the-catch/

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Are you a lawyer in VA? Because I am, and you are incorrect. (Probably bc you are basing your info on what an ambulance chaser who is trying to scare people says!). Adultery can be grounds for divorce, but except in exceptionally rare circumstances, adultery does not affect financial outcomes. The very rare exceptions are when the adulterous spouse has used joint resources in a particularly egregious way to further the adultery or financially benefit the affair partner. (Examples: adulterous spouse drains kids' college fund to buy expensive jewelry for AP, or leaves mortgage on joint home unpaid for years in order to buy a house for AP. But we are not talking about things like "adulterous spouse occasionally busy AP dinner" or "AP sometimes stays in jointly owned property." We're talking life savings drained, that kind of thing.

You don't know the details of OP's situation. In my own, for instance, my STBX and I have a legal marital separation agreement in VA – essentially, a post-nup– in which we have already settled all financial details, including disposition of the home, which will be mine upin divorce (my family paid for it originally) andwe  have already made a legally binding agreement to have any divorce be no-fault. It's a binding contract under VA law that will be incorporated into the divorce decree. It also contains a standard non-interference clause, stating "as long as the Parties live separate and apart, each shall be free from direct and Indirect interference of the other in the conduct of his or her life.... each shall have full and complete independence of action in all business and social relations.... The public and private activities of each shall be free from the restraint or supervision and control of the other, as though the parties have never been married to one another." Courts recognize the validity of such agreements. You have no idea where OP is in her divorce and separation process. Hopefully she has already worked out such an agreement with STBX.[/quote]

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