Reply to Is cheating acceptable if your partner refuses sex for years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my case my DH:

-almost completely gave up sex with me when we were both 35 and less than 5 years into the marriage

-I arranged for us to see 4 different therapists over the following 7 years. I never got clarity on why he stopped wanting sex with me

-I took on extra responsibilities with the kids and also arranged more alone time for DH, thinking if he had more time to himself it would help. It didn’t.

-I arranged and paid for multiple solo getaways for us as a couple without the kids. No sex.

-I lost weight and am actually in better shape than when we married

-I incorporated porn, toys, asked him for his ideas of what would feel good in the bedroom. Asked what he would need for sex to be part of our lives again.

-I redefined sex and asked him if we just took intercourse off the table, what would feel good to him?

-I went to individual therapy for years and also found him an individual therapist since couples counseling got us nowhere.

I still don’t know what the issue is. I think he’s either asexual or possibly was never attracted to me. He stopped having sex pretty quickly after we got pregnant. I feel like maybe he tricked me. But I really don’t know.

So yeah, when I do cheat (not if), I will feel zero guilt or shame whatsoever. I know how hard I tried to make it work.

I’m staying right now for strategic reasons but hope to divorce at some point in the future. [/quote]

Is he having an affair? 
[/quote]

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