Reply to MIL insists on buying big gifts for kids, without checking if they need/want/already have it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why on earth would you use a stroller you hate? You've let this go on way too far. Just say "shoot, we already had one picked out. I hope you kept the receipt" and hand her back whatever you don't want. Done. No drama.[/quote]

OP here.  This is so easy to say.  But the "no drama" part is just not reality.  It would cause drama and she knows I know it, and because I know it, I'd be the one who knowingly started it.  I'm pretty far from being a doormat but this is a family member and I do care about my DH's stress level and well-being.  Although, if the stroller thing happened now I would react differently than I did 5 years ago, because I have been to this rodeo one too many times by now.  I believe my MIL BELIEVES she has good intentions, even though I don't necessarily believe she has good intentions (if that makes sense).  Fortunately I think I've gotten DH on my side by showing him this thread, and he's going to talk to her before DD's birthday next month.  He's not always easy to convince but once he is convinced he is pretty good at saying what needs to be said.  [/quote]

It's great that you got DH on your side, but you also need to put down the rope in this game of tug-of-war.  Your MIL can create all the drama she wants -- if you and DH are a united front, you can both agree to let it roll off your backs.  When the drama she slings doesn't stick to anything, she'll learn that doesn't get her what she wants and she'll stop (or she won't but you won't care, because it truly doesn't bother you).  THAT'S what "no drama" means.

You've gotten a lot of great sample responses.  Accept the gifts you can -- when you've already purchased/selected something, let her know so she can return it/donate it/whatever.  If she pitches a fit, "I'm so sorry you feel this way.  If you'll touch base before you buy these things in the future, we'll be happy to let you know what the kids already have."  Repeat as needed.

It may not be easy, but it is as simple as that.[/quote]

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