Reply to what to say to single friend who wants family, but it's not happening...

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[quote=Anonymous]just be there for her and be ready to say "there are a lot of options." none perfect, all seem scary for different reasons now but lots of ways to explore what is right for her. you can help her talk through all of these things.

1) freezing eggs--what it entails, $$$, odds of successful implantation, tc. 
2) single mom 
3) accepting that she might meet the right guy at the wrong time, perhaps there's adoption, donor egg, etc.
4) it might work out, be open minded about dating and looking for good partner material (but not perfect).
5) adoption

for me, I was suddenly single at 35 and felt the way your friend did. I actually asked my ob/gyn to do a baseline ovarian reserve test, just to have more information. I also started dating with a more realistic and focused sense of what was important. I met DH at the tail end of 36--he did not fit my earlier 'criteria' (he came with a child already, which was not something I had ever anticipated, and of course has some pretty bad habits, messy, disorganized, has a bad temper at times) but in the main I chose well:he is also a fantastic loving involved father and committed husband. He drives me crazy, but I have a good marriage. and I was fortunate enough to squeak in 2 kids before 40 (the other thing I learned is to date men who were completely serious about and ready to have kids or more kids, which I had not done earlier.3 of the men I dated in my 30s are still single,well into their 40s) . However, when I met him, I was starting to contemplate both being a single mom and freezing eggs. the thing about being a single mom is that it seems SO overwhelming before hand, but after having my children, I realize that I really could have done it by myself, although certainly it would not be easy. I have friends now in this position-contemplating single motherhood and I wish I could convey that but of course I am not single. 
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