Reply to I’m worried my friend’s newborn isn’t getting enough food

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Reply to "I’m worried my friend’s newborn isn’t getting enough food—say something?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all, find moments to compliment her mothering. I still have a very clear memory of being about to walk out the door with my first baby, saying "oh, wait he needs a hat!" and running back in to get one, and my mom saying "oh, you are such a good mom." So basic, so simple, and can really help her with her confidence.

Next - is she complaining (to you) or fretting about the fussiness? Then I think it's fine to say "you know who might have some good advice? A lactation consultant. They can come right to your house. I found mine really helpful." The first thing an LC is going to do is a weighted feed, so if you're right, they'll catch it.

If she's not complaining to you or asking you, and she's getting regular well-baby visits, the most I would do is report the facts. "I fed her 3oz from the bottle and she ate it all and then slept for two hours!" or whatever. Let the parents figure it out. I had a very fussy (borderline colic) first baby and lots of people gave me unsolicited advice about it and it was not helpful. [/quote]
She is complaining and completely drained by the 24/7 cluster feeding. When I helped her yesterday, I watched her feed the baby and the baby almost immediately fell asleep, but then woke up fussy, and fed again. She put the baby down and went to take a nap, baby woke up and I gave it a measurable bottle, it fell asleep for almost two hours, then woke to feed from the boob, and the whole cycle started again. [/quote]

I would suggest meeting with an IBCLC.  Cluster feeding is a thing but usually not at a month.  I had a LC who supported "fed is best" and helped me formula supplement in the beginning (early formula supplementation can actually improve breastfeeding outcomes as women don't just give up entirely).

The Breastfeeding Center downtown has some appointment, and IBCLC who comes to your house is also great.  Not all lactation consultants are "breast or nothing".[/quote]
What do you think would be the kindest way to suggest this? [/quote]

"I see you're getting really stressed with the cluster feeding.  I've heard IBCLCs can really help and give you some tips for properly managing pumping when you go back to work.  Here's one that would come to your house.  I'm just worried about your mental health and I don't think it would hurt to have your baby checked for tongue tie or similar."[/quote]
Perfect. Thanks so much! [/quote]

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