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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For a time, I had a strong tendency to attract people like this into my life.

I think the reason they are like this is they have control issues that stem from insecurity or anxiety. They seek to control everyone around them because they believe if everyone and everything just functioned according to their directives, there would be no more problems or surprises in life.

I also think there is a usually a touch (or more) of narcissism in these personalities, because of their inability to see that their advice is not welcome or realize that they might not have enough information or context to decide what is best for other people. Someone who has more empathy and a sense of humility would understand when to back off, and would be able to handle the idea that maybe they don't actually know what's best. But people like this will persist even when presented with clear evidence that their advice is not helpful or on point.

I also think people with this personality type tend to seek out people they view to be "coachable" because it helps them satisfy their need for control. They don't do this to people who are very assertive and confident. They seek out people who seem unsure of themselves or who appear willing to be controlled. I think this is why I have a tendency to attract this type. I was abused growing up and my mother is like this, and I think people with similar personalities kind of smell it on me. I also think I tend to be instantly accommodating of people like this when I encounter them, because as a child I learned that resisting or argument could lead to verbal or physical abuse.

I have found the best way to deal with people like this is to keep them at arms length and not let them into my inner circle. Sometimes you can't avoid them completely. I have worked with people like this and you can't always just leave a job. Right now I am dealing with a personality like this in the mother of one of my kid's good school friends. I don't want to make an enemy of her so I have to play along to some degree, but I keep her at a distance -- I encourage the kid's friendship but resist getting too close to the mom. It takes work but it's what I have to do to avoid the meddling and controlling behavior.[/quote]

Whole lotta words/judgments about others to avoid just saying "Hey, please don't give me advice unless I ask"  :roll: [/quote]

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