Reply to Would you marry knowing your spouse wouldn't sleep with you after a few years?

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Reply to "Would you marry knowing your spouse wouldn't sleep with you after a few years?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before getting married, everyone should be fully educated about how human bodies change and age over time, how accidents, illnesses, and injuries happen, and how that can change intimacy. If you are not committed to the relationship through sickness and in heath, for better or for worse, during medically necessary pelvic rest, childbirth, child rearing, menopause and impotence, cranky moods and alone time, and perfectly healthy and normal human shifts in libido, then don't get pretend you intend a marriage to be forever. If you are choosing a spouse expecting to demand sexual intimacy forever, don't get married because the odds are not in your favor of that being a physical possibility.

Or change the vow to read "I take you to be my spouse, but only for as long as I can take you whenever I want."  See how that goes over with the crowd of adults who know better at your wedding venue. They'll be taking back their wedding gifts.[/quote]

100% agree. No one should get married assuming that they will maintain the same schedule of sex for the rest of their lives. That's just not how the human body works.

Also I think it's weird to fixate on sex instead of the broader category of physical affection and intimacy. It's one thing for a couple to stop having sex due to a libido problem or even a relationship issue -- sex is one aspect of intimacy but it's not the whole thing. My spouse and I have gone through periods of no or very little sex, but we've never stopped being physically affectionate so I really have never worried that much about it.

Now, if my spouse stopped giving me hugs or kisses or touching me altogether after a few years, I'd view that as a massive failure and I do think that would be grounds for divorce. But sex is more narrow and I went into marriage understanding we are going to grow old and our hormones will shift and that sex is something that would change and likely decline with time and after kids or during illness.[/quote]

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