Reply to Midlife Jump Scare - adult years swamped by juggle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids are now nearly all independent, my oldest is at college; my youngest is in middle school and suddenly I don’t have to rush home for pickup and after school activities except for days when I’m the carpool.

They help with dinner; they do laundry, the whole household load finally feels manageable.

I still want to be home for dinner at 530, leaving at 5 is a firm deadline.

But my own life of hobbies, maybe investing more in my career by going to networking events, working late when needed, putting in the hours seems possible.

[b]But I’m 52.  It feels too late. [/b]I feel like my life from 28 till now has been a constant juggle and rush to put in the bare minimum at work to not lose my job, rush home for daycare or school pickup and kid activities, short-order cook a dinner, help with homework, tackle cleaning and chores, maybe do 20 minutes of a YouTube HIIT workout and crash to bed.

That has been every day for both of us for our kids entire childhood. We aren’t in high paying fields so can’t hire out for a nanny or cleaners, and our commutes are both about 45 min (we both work downtown).

Can anyone commiserate?  I’m suddenly old, and realize all I’ve done for 20 years is tread water. [/quote]

The bold is crazy. It's the perfect time! You haven't been "treading water" for 20 years - you've been raising children! Life, as you're seeing, has many phases. You're coming out of the child rearing phase. You now have some extra bandwidth for hobbies, pushing more into your career, etc. That's GREAT! My grandmother went back to school for nursing around the same age and had a 15 year career as a nurse. My father made a major career shift at around the same age, and had another 10 year career (related, but very different). My step dad was unexpectedly fired at age 55 and began a whole second career in education - he's still teaching now at 81! My mom changed careers at 35 when I was a baby but kept it very low gear until the kids got easier, and really fired up her career at age 45, and now at 75, she's still going!

Life is LONG. It might be a bit intimidating to think about big changes. And there might be some different challenges than there were when you were 25 or 30. But you've also got a ton of valuable experience, both in life and in your career.

It's okay to be scared. Having extra bandwidth is new - give yourself some time to adjust, brainstorm some ideas that sound appealing, and start running towards yourself. Congrats![/quote]

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