Reply to Midlife Jump Scare - adult years swamped by juggle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids are now nearly all independent, my oldest is at college; my youngest is in middle school and suddenly I don’t have to rush home for pickup and after school activities except for days when I’m the carpool.

They help with dinner; they do laundry, the whole household load finally feels manageable.

I still want to be home for dinner at 530, leaving at 5 is a firm deadline.

But my own life of hobbies, maybe investing more in my career by going to networking events, working late when needed, putting in the hours seems possible.

But I’m 52.  It feels too late. I feel like my life from 28 till now has been a constant juggle and rush to put in the bare minimum at work to not lose my job, rush home for daycare or school pickup and kid activities, short-order cook a dinner, help with homework, tackle cleaning and chores, maybe do 20 minutes of a YouTube HIIT workout and crash to bed.

That has been every day for both of us for our kids entire childhood. We aren’t in high paying fields so can’t hire out for a nanny or cleaners, and our commutes are both about 45 min (we both work downtown).

Can anyone commiserate?  I’m suddenly old, and realize all I’ve done for 20 years is tread water. [/quote]

I am the same age, and can relate a little, but not that much.

Did you have three kids? That is a choice, and one that comes with very obvious (even beforehand) trade-offs.
We had the kids do their own laundry, help make dinner, clean up after themselves, from a very early (by DC standards) age. 
We limited the number of activities they could do so we weren't driving around all evening/weekends.
I almost never helped with homework. Not my job - homework is for the kids, not the parents.
Cleaning and chores - we kept things hygienic but were not super anal about keeping the house clean. A bit of mess doesn't hurt anyone.

So while the first few years were a nightmare, it was only probably 10 years that was super hard. The last 10 have been fine.
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