Reply to Envious of the life my kids are having without me after divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH divorced me in a nasty, surprise way. I [b]was a SAHM who helped him build a career that is now taking off. [/b]When we were all a family, we took fun vacations together and skiied 20+ days in the winter (we don’t live in the dmv anymore) and had a ski house that DH was able to afford to keep.

I have a few years of spousal support and some retirement and but am living very lean because it is a struggle for me to find anything close to my old career and I don’t know how long I can stretch my half of our assets. DH is making 10x my old salary or more and I’m grateful that our kids can continue to live our old lifestyle when they’re with him. I am really grateful to have a settlement that makes sure my kids are set and will not have to worry about their future- it was worth some tradeoffs I had to make for my own.

But the other day one of my kids said, mommy, I’m sad that you don’t get to ski or go to [x country] with us anymore. I brushed it off and said how much I love doing all the new things we do together.

But I am sad and miss those old things too. I’ll never be able to afford to ski again- my gear was breaking down when the divorce had happened and we were supposed to replace it that season, and lift tickets and lodging are now out of the question. The vacations to [x country] were facilitated by DH’s work travel that my flexibility enabled and the miles and points he accumulated.

This is just a vent. I feel like I’m pressing my face up against the glass of my old life. I don’t blame my kids one bit but I miss the family times I thought we’d have together.[/quote]

You are delusional in thinking you have much responsibility for his success.

You picked well for a breadwinner but bad for a husband, but at least you lived a decade or so of a live that most of us never have.

So if you were so pivotal to his success, apply it to yourself and level up your income. [/quote]
Not delusional at all to think a supportive spouse can make a positive difference in their partner’s career trajectory:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/for-couples-success-at-work-is-affected-by-partner-s-personality/

Conscientiousness seems to be the primary trait creating this positive influence. OP now needs to apply that extra positive energy to herself. [/quote]

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