Reply to Do you hug relatives you dislike to not make waves at family gatherings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We need to normalize not having physical contact with someone if you don't want to. I don't care if it "takes two seconds" and the person hasn't been abusive to me in the past. If I don't want to touch or hug someone, I'm not going to, and if they're upset about it, that's not my problem.

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Yes it is your problem. Because you can't act normal. You are the oddball.[/quote]

Why is it so important to you that people who don't want to hug you do so anyway? Why would you want a coerced hug?

This is what I told my parents and ILs when my kids were young and they wanted to force hugs. [b]Why do you want a forced hug?[/b] These children are getting to know you and just learning how to navigate the world. Family gatherings can be overwhelming and sometimes they just want to fist bump or wave. Do you want your grandkids to remember grandma smiling and waving goodbye to them after Thanksgiving, or do you want them to remember an uncomfortable hug that a group of adults made them participate in, or grandma frowning and upset when they shied away from a hug? No one wants the latter.

Being able to accept other people's physical boundaries is a sing of maturity and self-possession. It's not odd.[/quote]
It's the same thing that I wonder about rapists. But some people thrive off of making other people uncomfortable and pushing their boundaries. [/quote]

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