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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Easy. Don’t visit. Go low contact. [/quote]

This is not acceptable. We owe it to our parents to help them in their old age.

OP, is this new behavior? Any medical issues/ drugs that could be causing this?

I would not force my spouse to be a part of the visits. I would go myself out of obligation and take one kid at a time; maybe they are overwhelmed by the visits. As soon as the negative talk starts, I would change the subject and refuse to engage. If you spend the entire visit talking about the color the neighbors chose to paint their house, so be it.[/quote]

I think this is mostly right.  I don't think your parents are badly behaved enough to cut off.  It's not like estrangement solves the problem anyway-  it's just a different kind of hard (although in some situations it's the less hard option).

Are they local or within driving distance? I would go with 1 or both kids, stay for a few hours, and redirect the conversation per the advice above so they can't dwell on the negative too much.  Maybe you can bring lunch over- that will kill some time.

If you have to travel to see them, stay in a hotel.[/quote]

Estrangement absolutely solves the problem. How would it not? They can't continue to harm your life and your childrens' lives if they're not in it.

It is crazy to me that some of you are suggesting the OP should expose their kids to people like that. Even if you think a child has an obligation to their parents, the grandkids obviously have no obligation to them.[/quote]

Estrangement can still be painful, but yes it's the answer in some cases.

Cranky parents may be better handled with boundaries.[/quote]

Or preconditions. Tell them they need to become better people if they want to have a relationship with you.[/quote]

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