Reply to No birthday present- break up with him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Folks focusing on the gift thing are missing the point. OP isn’t complaining that the dude didn’t give her a Chanel bag. Even if the gift is small, it denotes time, effort, acknowledgement. Come on, we’ve all had boyfriends who took the time to make or cook something when we were all broke and it was super meaningful.

He’s phoning it in OP. Ask yourself what the long term goal is with this guy (eventual marriage? Cohabitation?), then sit and speak with him frankly. It’s ok if yours goals don’t align. But if they don’t, end it. Being with someone like this is depressing.

I will point out, as someone whose been in your position, that there’s a somewhat harsh truth to post divorce dating where the fairy tale does sort is leave the building, so if this guy is honest, kind, and you enjoy his companionship, ask yourself if that’s enough. I’m not saying “settle” in a bad way, but the truth is that relationships later in life look and feel different than they did when we were younger. Just food for thought. If you think he’s wasting your time, yes let him go. But if he’s a good man and this is just how he does relationships, maybe it’s enough? Just saying…the pickings for women aren’t awesome out there. Best of luck to you, sincerely. [/quote]

[b]All of the love languages are about time, effort, and acknowledgement. Some are even are about connection. We get it! What you don’t get is that gift givers want particular type of these things.[/b] Dinner is not good enough. Cooking a meal is an act of service, not a gift. OP wants a physical item. If he were distancing himself (and she cared) or he weren’t otherwise thoughtful, pretty odd to write a post about not getting a gift. [/quote]

This is really the best part of this this thread. I'm another who does not care about gifts or birthday acknowledgement. I really can't get into the mindset of people who think that is important (and objectively, I think it's lame). But as an intelligent person, if that was important to them, and they let me know, I would intellectually never, ever forget, and if I loved them I would buy gifts. And they would be decent gifts too, because I would take notes and I'm aware and observant enough to get hints and know likes and dislikes! [/quote]

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