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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]250 texts a day?  WTF is there to talk about with anybody that much?  Guy would drive me crazy (if I was on the receiving end of the texts).[/quote]

They both sound really needy (the husband and the affair partner) which is normal in an affair. There is at least some level of desperation. OP read up on emotional affairs, affairs in general. They run a predictable course. My husband was so awful during his affair, not just to me but to our family, and frankly to himself. Affairs are about instant gratification so you don't have a lot of patience when you are not with your "drug" of another partner. It was torture, but I was like, well she can have him. She didn't seem so great either considering she was also married with kids.

It's taken me a year of dealing with his EA to finally feel normal again. Infatuation is powerful, but it doesn't last. [/quote]

PP, how long did your DH continue with the EA?  Did you [i]start[/i] to feel normal after it was over?  What did he do to you or the family that was awful during the affair?  Just trying to pick out the common behaviors.  A co-worker whose husband cheated on her said he was argumentative and started fights.[/quote]

[b]I believe the entire thing lasted over a year,[/b] but I don't think the first few months were that intense, nor were the last few months (their job changed and they no longer saw each other every day). Our marriage was screwed up, and I was focusing on myself and our two young kids. I saw how I contributed, but in a way, I didn't care. I think deep down, he was so awful and things were so bad between us, and I knew who she was, and she just didn't seem like a threat. She had always been his overweight bordering on frumpy coworker friend. I have to hand it to her, she did lose some weight and looked better the last time I saw her during the thick of the affair. I think deep down I was in denial and I thought to some extent, they can have each other.

He was awful during the affair in that he did pick fights, he seemed incredibly frustrated with me, the kids, our family. Toward the end he stopped doing the things around the house he normally did (he was always really good about cleaning up, cooking, etc.). Both of our moms noticed something was up and thought he was just uncomfortable to be around and seemed incredibly depressed. His mom wanted him to go on medication. He did see a therapist, but he wasn't honest with her and didn't bring up the infatuation he had with this woman. He just talked about his career troubles. He has always been an extreme compartmentalizer which I think is how affairs thrive. But it began to break down. [b]He told me while it was going on, he felt a profound shame that he was floundering through life and relying on this woman[/b]. And he was trying so hard to justify what he was doing, he told himself (and eventually me), that I had lost passion for life, we had nothing in common, etc. She was doing the same thing with her DH.

I will never understand the appeal of having a relationship with someone who was so quick to throw their spouse and mother/father of their children under the bus like that. But that's part of it I guess.[/quote]

Was he still living in the house with your during the affair? Had he moved out at this point or was he still living in the same house with you?  How did you find out? What happened at the end?[/quote]

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