Reply to My Parents Are Useless: In-laws Are Great :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are expecting too much from your parents. Parents aren't there to help with your kids or pay for your kids. If you get that from even one side, you've won the lotto.[/quote]

I am expecting too much of them to be involved or even care about my grandkids at all?? That seems like a very low bar. I was not expecting them to do everything for me, but they are not even making an effort at all. I cannot rely on them for literally anything and they have the nerve to suggest that I should spend money on a nanny when they can’t even come for the weekend (occasionally) to help out. Thats fine if they don’t have money to help out, but they should. criticize me for not spending 4K+ a month on childcare when they are unwilling to help. [/quote]

Yeah, helping out is expecting too much.  You are expecting them to do stuff for you. Find a new backup childcare. [/quote]

I disagree with you on this. If they are not interested in helping their grandkids and don’t even care about  the grandkids they shouldn’t have had children in the first place. [b]Kids are an obligation until the day you die[/b] and if you are too selfish to help them out you shouldn’t have them at all. I’m not expecting them to do everything for me just actually make an effort to help occasionally instead of requesting social media pics of the kids everyday so they can pretend like they are great grandparents to their friends. [/quote]

Wow. You've got to be a troll.

The bolded means helping a fully-grown, financially-independent adult child only in case of emergency, or life-or-death situations. Not regular babysitting or sending random money throughout their lives. My parents helped me when I suddenly needed hospitalization and my husband's job was too inflexible for him to take off work for childcare. They took charge of my post-hospitalization, kid pick up and drop off, meals, etc. And then they left when I felt better. They have never baby-sat or sent us money.

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