Reply to At what cost do you help your adult kids after getting them through college?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "At what cost do you help your adult kids after getting them through college? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm seeking a sanity check on whether these things are reasonable.  I'm most interested in hearing from people who are well off but not rich, with adult kids in their twenties who graduated from college without debt and have good jobs.
[color=red] What is a good job in this terrible job market? [/color]

1. How much does helping your 20-something kids affect your budget and retirement plans?  I'm not as interested in hearing from people who have $10m or more, but from people still working and saving for retirement.  Are you willing to keep working after 65 to be able to pay for grad school, weddings, down payments, etc?
[color=red] Yes. I would keep working to pay for grad school if need be.  But not for other things. [/color]

2. How do you resolve disagreements with your spouse about how much support to provide adult kids and at what cost?  What would you do if your spouse were spending down assets on adult kids without your blessing, which you didn't give because you legitimately believe you couldn't afford it? 
[color=red]What we would provide to our kids was mutually decided by both of us when the kids were little.  Our primary aim was to fund our retirement and college (state) for both our kids.  After these two -  whatever additional help we could provide for our children - wedding, car - were due to some strokes of good luck. We did not jeopardise our own retirement or the kids colleges.   [/color]

3. When your adult kid visits, do you cover 100% of the costs of their trip?  For example, do you pay for their airline ticket, groceries, meals out, etc?  
[color=red]Isn't this a function of what they can afford and what you can afford?  I would pay for groceries and meals out for any house guest. For my ACs, I would also pay for air-tickets if I made more money than them. [/color]

4. When you vacation with your adult kids, do you also cover 100% of the costs?  Not just the housing, but for example, do you pay for their round of golf, ski lift ticket, or other activities?  
[color=red]No, not 100%.  As they have started to make more money, they are able to pay for more things. My kids are also quite frugal and moneywise.  But, right now - I would pay for housing, food, etc - because we make substantially more than them. [/color]

5. An adult kid who has graduated and is employed visits and makes their own plans.  Is it reasonable for them to expect to be able to take your car while they visit?   And if there is a schedule conflict? 
[color=red]Absolutely reasonable to take your car, use your house to host their friends, use everything in your house as if they are your own children.   If there is a schedule conflict (ie you need the car to go to work), of course then you take the car.  [/color]

6. Would you help with graduate school, law school, medical school, or an MBA if it required you to keep working later than planned?  If you do it for one kid, do you need to do it for their younger siblings, too?  [/quote]
[color=red] YES.  YES.  When we say that we will pay 100% for college - it includes grad school, law school, medical school and MBA.  [/color] 
[/quote]

Professional grad school like MBA and law school is a choice and often a bad idea.  We paid 100% for college and they are on their own for law school or an MBA…honestly they only reason they might pursue it is because it might be free if we agreed to pay but neither has any interest (or need for it).

Medical school is different though neither of my college kids have any interest so not really something to consider.

Would never pay for a PhD only because any PhD worth a shit is free (with a living stipend).  My one kid may pursue a PhD in ML or robotics and assures me he will be hired by tech companies at astronomical salaries (at least $500k…probably more) to pursue research relevant to those companies.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics