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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with PPs that you need to help her get a job. I disagree with PPs that this needs to be done because she's "spoiled" but more because you want her to do things, engage with the real world, and so far extracurriculars and AP classes are not those things.

1) I'd explain to her, "you are 16 yo and you need to be working. We are reducing your allowance [or eliminating it OR better still matching the funds you make from job up to X$] because we want you to get a paid job. what things do you think you'd be good at?"

2) brainstorm a list with her and get her to put them into a priority. Likely scenarios:
pet sitting
retail (seems likely given interests listed so far)
baby sitting
mothers assistant

3) Define next steps in the priority area and then give her a deadline to get the steps done. e.g. go to mall and apply for 5 jobs by Monday 9/1. Walk her through how to do the step, e.g. let's practice. you are in the store and you go to the counter and you ask to speak to the manager. Let's try it right now.

IF she does not engage with this, meaning TRY, I would cut off her allowance. I'd explain to her that "you need to be working. Mom and Dad cannot keep paying you if you are not working (or trying to work)." I don't think any of this needs to be -- or should be -- done in a mean way. You are transitioning her to a new way of interacting with the world. It's a good thing, not a punishment, not a reflection of anger or frustration. You want to keep it positive. This is about maturing, more independence, and growth.

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Op here. This is helpful, thank you[/quote]

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