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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an immigrant (non-White, non-Christian), and there was zero concept of a "play date" growing up in another country.  The neighborhood was teeming with kids of all ages and we all played together.  We did not have the guts or smarts to exclude any kid because our mums would give us a thrashing if we put any kid down or exclude any kid.  After school, doing homework, resting - we were made to go out to play with other kids in the park.  Had to be back once the streetlights were switched on.

When relatives or friends visited my parents - their kids became our guests.  We were supposed to make sure to treat them nicely, play with them, ply them with snacks and lemonade, keep them entertained etc.  The grown-ups did not think that it was their duty to take care of their kids.

If two kids were playing together - in the park or in your own house - another kid could always invite themself to your house to play and you had to include them and play with them.   The only time you could escape playing with someone, or watching over younger kids was when you were studying.  If you studied - you were allowed to isolate.  But, you had to be studying alone.  My mom had no qualms to make me turn off the TV and look after the younger kids of her guests. (BTW - I am guilty of doing that too).

It was only when I came to USA, I found out that people arrange for 1-on-1 playdates and then other kids cannot join because "Sorry, Larlo is on a playdate!"  Huh?    I find it very fake.

I have hosted many moms at my home. I would make coffee or tea for them and we basically hung out together. Their kids and my kids would play together and we would basically watch them.  It was just a bunch of kids playing.  [/quote]

This is how it was pre 1990s. Ask anyone who grew up before then. Since then a whole new parenting philosophy took over where kids and their schedules became highly choreographed.[/quote]

Yes! This extreme parenting today is GARBAGE and making our youth neurotic messes.

In the 60s and 70s when I grew up, little was structured. We had Scouts and Little League.

But mainly we just played kickball, tag, etc. We were outside, on our own, almost all summer. Learning to work and negotiate with our peers without Mommy hovering.

And we grew up strong and confident.

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