Reply to Just dropped off DS and it hurts so bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Same boat op.

I guess my tears are from knowing things arent really ever going to be the same anymore - the daily dynamics, comings& goings, routine, spontaneous reputoire, etc.

I liked our status quo.[/quote]

Same. I am not at all “sad” that DS is successfully launching and happy.  I feel _loss_ at his absence and the end of an era that I really really really liked.

I acknowledge that there is no correct way to feel here, but I have to say that I do not get at all the people who are SO excited that their children are gone from their day to day lives. (“So thrilled to be empty nesters now!”).   (“Really enjoying this empty nest time!”)  It’s not as if they couldn’t read a book in peace or take an adults only weekend or dinner or tango class when the kid was, say, a 16 year old junior.  So it really does sound like these “Yassss! I’m alone!” people are genuinely thrilled not to be seeing the teens on the regular.

Which is foreign to me - not right or wrong [/quote]

I have a rising senior and I feel a touch sad thinking about next year.

But I can understand the everyday joy in empty nesting too. My schedule and daily focus revolves around my children -and I’m the breadwinner. Their every days issues still take a part of my brain. I stop work to check in the evening t and make/eat dinner with them - not at a natural stop point for work. I schedule work travel to coincide with that they are doing. We plan vacations they might like that corresponds to the school year.  (Weekends away depend on kids to be sure - everyone thinks their kid won’t throw the party).  So sure I can go dinner or tango class, I’m looking forward to flying somewhere fun on a Tuesday in October. [/quote]

Basically Dinner, tango class, and weekends away are one-offs. They aren’t a fundamental shift away from prioritizing your kids interests/needs before your own. [/quote]

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