Reply to How to help 2nd grader with suspected executive function

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "How to help 2nd grader with suspected executive function"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I say suspected because he’s never been tested for anything and of course 8 year olds are not as organized as middle schoolers. He remembers dates and times really well but can be disorganized with items.

Examples:
He needs to put gym shoes in his locker. He remembers this himself and packs his shoe bag… At drop off he jumps out of the car with his backpack and leaves the shoe bag in the car.

He goes to the library (takes his own wallet and library card and checks out. Sits and reads or gets on computer and when we get up to leave, leaves his wallet and card.

He has never forgotten major things like his lunch or his homework.

Does anyone have a book I can read to help understand and put strategies in place? I’m punctual and responsible, but tend toward clutter and sometimes misplace things. In kindergarten we used a visual checklist, but he has multiple activities and more supplies now.

[/quote]

This is just so normal for 8yo boys. I have 3. Strategies basically include natural consequences. [/quote]

It’s hard when there’s fail safes. He forgot his music book and viola teacher had an extra so it was fine. He forgot his lunch once and I drive it over when school called. Another Time he forgot lunch and I didn’t drive over but school gave him a lunch and he was happy as a clam. Last week I had him call the library about his lost card and the librarian said not to worry they would just issue him a new card on his next  visit. [/quote]

He’s 8.  Help him. Your 8 yr old going to school without his lunch is your fault.  [/quote]

I do help him. If I’ve asked him twice if he is sure he put the lunch I packed (and reminded him twice about) in his backpack, and insists it is there, I am not going to open his backpack to visually check. Are you saying I need to visually check to see if an 8 almost 9 year old has put the lunch I have on the counter for him every morning and have asked him about into his bag?[/quote]

Your posts make it seem like your goal in helping him is reducing your frustration or the impact on you.

Your goals should be to figure out what skills he's missing, why, and then help him to gain them. So, for instance, in the example above, ask him to open his backpack and put his hands on his lunch because you know when he said yes yesterday, it wasn't really there. You can even say this from the next room. Putting his hand on his lunch is a repeatable routine he can do until he learns not to forget it and should be more helpful than you checking for his lunch. I do this with my kid for packing toothbrush and socks that they tend to forget on trips.

I'd also ask him why like a detective. At the library he may be so excited to read or play in the computer. He also may give reasons that you haven't thought of like he can't reach something, or it's too heavy. Then brainstorm together to solve the problem.[/quote]

Yesterday I literally handed him underwear and clean socks and said “Here is fresh underwear and socks. Get changed into these, then you can go get dressed.”

10 minutes later he said he was done brushing his teeth and changing.  I found the underwear and socks on the couch.

All he had to do was not throw the underwear and socks on the couch. I handed them to him. He just had to walk to the bathroom. The underwear and socks didn’t make it there. You’re saying I should have walked him to the bathroom after handing him his clothes? I don’t think it’s too much to ask an 8-9 year old to take two clothing items and get changed. A 5 or 6 year old I can see. [/quote]

I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do, but all you seem to be saying is he didn't do this or that task that people his age should be able to, which is not a path toward fixing it. He threw the underwear and socks on the couch for some reason, so by inspection it [i]is[/i] (or was in that situation) too much for him. Just wishing that wasn't the case isn't going to help you.

I don't think you should walk him to the bathroom, but I also don't think you should have handed them to him and left and not known he didn't have them until he was in and out of the bathroom and fully dressed 20 minutes later. You seem to waffle between doing everything for him or doing nothing rather than the middle ground of guiding him to do things. I would be narrating a lot more, like, "If you put those on the couch, how will you remember them?" &lt;Maybe a discussion of how realistic that is with past examples.&gt; Then, "It seems like if you set them down now you will be likely to forget them. You need to take them into the bathroom/put them with the rest of your clothes now."[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics