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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem:

The guy is enmeshed enough with ex to be her dog sitter.

OP learned this by meeting dog, not receiving an honest convo/update by boyfriend.

Boyfriend has cheated with this ex in the past.

If he hasn’t reframed any of this to OP he is clearly fine with above.

I don’t know if folks ok with this are inexperienced at relationships or just obtuse, but these are all red flags of a guy with blurred lines and poor boundaries.

I once went on a first date with a guy in my early 30’s who “shared custody” of a dog with an ex-girlfriend. I noped the hell out of there.[/quote]

Okay, "enmeshed enough to be her dog sitter" is wild. Y'all leave your dogs with a stranger from Rover. It's not that deep.

The issue here is the lack of communication upfront/beforehand. "Hey, babe. Larla is going on vacation for a few weeks and she wondered if I could watch Brutus, since he's a tank, pulls on walks, and can be a bit of an ass sometimes but we get along. [b]You good with that?[/b]" makes this a non-issue. That he didn't bother to communicate like an adult about it upfront is a red flag, as is his "oh yeah, it's Larla's dog" blasé response when caught and called out. Then you add on the bonus of "previously cheated on his rebound relationship with this particular ex" and it becomes a problem.

But none of that is about the dog. My ex took care of my dogs when I took our kid college shopping a few weekends ago. It meant nothing more than "he knows where the food is and where the poop goes and I don't have to pay him". Why would you have an issue with someone having time with a previously-shared pet without the ex around? That's controlling af.[/quote]

No, he doesn’t need to seek her permission. He can inform, but he doesn’t need to ask…[/quote]

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