Reply to Anyone's college bound kid refusing to engage in packing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You got to help them pack. Nothing wrong in doing some of that for them. I don't get this attitude of telling them to pack and expect them to manage it all. It's not going to make them slackers in life if you help out. We've done it, and just two weeks back did another moving help. Our senior is well equipped to handle the world who can manage everything, and doing it now. But sometimes is not best organized about packing or moving, that is the small stuff, help out if you can and it will go better for all.[/quote]

Stop coddling them.[/quote]

I always wonder who posts these things. Are they trolls going against the grain just because? Are they parents who actually had a super-independent kid and don't understand that others need to grow into it? Are they parents who didn't help their kid and are trying to rationalize that they weren't jerks? Or were they children of jerks who desperately want to believe that their parents did the right thing? Or maybe they're parents of young children who have no clue what they're talking about...

Anyway. Safe to ignore.[/quote]

I am the PP in first post. I am ignoring this person. I think I knew at least one type of parent mentioned here. Back in my DCs sophomore year when he and his then roommate were moving things in a U-Haul they rented. His roommate received no help from either of his parents, he packed everything and came to our place, his mom came in a separate car to see him off. When we looked inside his van everything was a mess, the poor boy did not know how to pack everything neatly and a mirror he had packed broke in transit. [b]His mom just stood there telling something about how dysfunctional he is, then said good byes[/b] and left. My husband then said not to worry as he helped our DS and his friend organize stuff next day morning before either of them got out, while they were having some breakfast. He did re-arrange everything neatly, and helped the boys move the van out of tough corners, which his roommate appreciated so much. The boys while being independent could still benefit from a grown up adult with experience. It's not coddling. It's called responsible parents lending a helping hand and teaching them how to. [/quote]

Yes, I know some parents like that. After years of telling a kid that he's dumb, well, the kids lack confidence, feel really insecure, and it turns out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, after which the parent turns around and says: "See? I told you you couldn't hack it". It's painful to witness and tantamount to child abuse. I think those parents are acting on their own insecurities about parenting. Sometimes there are some mild special needs in the mix, or sometimes the child is just a little less outgoing or a little less quick than the parent, and the parent lives it as a stain on the family.
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