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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whether or not we have sex comes down to me (my husband ALWAYS wants sex), so if it’s been more than 3-4 days I will tell myself that we’ll have sex that evening or whatever.

I know this practice might seem archaic or antifeminist or something, but so much about my life and married life in general are just anti-erotic and I can’t just wait to be in the mood - I am rarely truly in the mood.  I have sex with my husband because it’s important to him and it makes our connection stronger.

He’s good in bed and cares about my pleasure, so it’s not like he’s using me, but usually I would rather lay around like a slug than have sex so generally I am doing it for him. I usually end up enjoying myself (or at least get off lol).[/quote]

If the lower libido partner (which can be either if you read these boards) can’t track and stay aware of how long it’s been then they’re the problem. I think many of those partners are unaware, sex hasn’t crossed their mind, and then they are caught off guard and defensive when the other partners frustration grows.

No one decent expects sex when someone else is sick/etc. And if the lower libido partner doesn’t like a schedule then it’s fine to initiate regularly enough that the schedule isn’t necessary. What’s not fine is unilaterally shutting down sex then being surprised at the long term effects on the relationship.

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