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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm male in my late 50s.  Overall I've had some of the best sex of my life since my marriage broke up.  I was already over 50 when that happened.

My ex wife and I had an emotional connection in the early days that made sex incredible a few times, usually after we had a big argument. She wasn't so great in bed in terms of skills, but I loved her very much and that made a difference.  I'd still say the very best sexual experiences of my life were with her, but she lost all interest in me after we had kids. We had a sexless marriage by the end.

I've had sex with over a dozen women since my wife and I divorced.  I had a few flings and several relationships. Different women were great in different ways. One woman was a genius who instinctively understood my body and always had a sense of exactly what to do and when to do it.  A few women were extremely passionate and expressive, without being fake at all, which was very memorable and made me feel good about myself. One woman and I had an amazing connection emotionally and she also was a delicious kisser. A few liked to take off their clothes in front of the window, and one did that on the balcony, which was unbelievably hot. A couple of women really knew how to use their mouths in a way that was very arousing and pleasing (unlike most women, who can't do it in a way that's enjoyable for me even when they are willing). One woman liked to wrap herself around me after we finished so we could sleep in each other's arms, which was a very romantic and emotionally satisfying way to end the evening.

I was really consistent at pleasing some women and couldn't seem to give some of them what they wanted at all.  Some said I was like a mind reader and some became very frustrated with me because they didn't like what I was doing. Having over a dozen partners helped me realize that partner compatibility issues are real.  It's not all about whether he or she is "good" in bed or "not good" in bed.

None of my relationships lasted more than about a year but, yes, middle aged people can have satisfying sex lives after divorce.[/quote]

As a woman, I'm still puzzled how my exH was my second partner and he gave me the best sex of my life. Yet, 3 years post divorce and a dozen of partners through, nobody can match that.

Did I just luck out in that area in my 20s with exH, or when you are young, your ability to learn your partner sexually is just so much higher that it sticks for life? 
Or the reason for worse sex quality post divorce is overall short duration of all the relationships? Everyone is dating multiple people, partners don't concentrate or get too invested into a specific person, don't stay together long enough to develop a strong sexual connection.

What is the reason? [/quote]

I'm not an expert in sex or relationshipa, but I'd say the emotional part of sex matters a lot.  You probably loved your husband a lot. Also, some people are compatible very quickly (like the first or second time). That's just luck.  The women who said I was a mind reader said it after the first night.  One of them lives far away but became a long term friend with benefits.  One of them said she was scared she was becoming obsessed after one great weekend and never agreed to see me again, although she would send me friendly texts in the middle of the night once in a while.

It's hard to separate love from great chemistry sometimes, but I bet you and your husband had great chemistry and real love.

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