Reply to Leaving people to wallow

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know exactly what you’re talking about, OP. I had an ex I adored, and he would flip flop within the same conversation from declarations of love, to telling me he can never be good enough for me so I should move on. He’d tell me to date other men because I deserved better, and when I did, wallow because “see! I knew you didn’t actually like me!”

Why they do it doesn’t matter. It could be any number of things.

More importantly, is why do you try to win over these people. I realized I didn’t actually like *him*, I liked the idea and the drama of fixing a broken man and having him love me forever. Which is crazy, that’s not how good relationships are built. [b]The correct answer is when someone wallows how they aren’t good enough - “ok, thanks for letting me know. Best of luck to you!” And move on. [/b][/quote]

Eso es. It seems "mean" but it's actually an act of love: accepting people as they are and processing that reality accordingly. No strife, no ongoing arguments, just "thank you for that information" and then the next right decision. [/quote]

Worst case, they’re manipulative and trying to set up a power dynamic where you grovel and never hold them accountable. Best case, they have terrible communication skills. Either way, not someone you want to waste a lot of time and energy on. [/quote]

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