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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It dawned on me today that my whole life (I’m 43) I’ve been pretty much playing by the “rules” I was raised with. Be a good girl, get good grades, go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids, be a good mom, etc.

After my world was flipped upside down by divorce a few years ago, I feel like I have not really succeeded by being this person. In fact, I feel like around me the people who lie or cheat or cut corners are the ones who are succeeding.

So without going full on selfish hedonist, if you’ve had this realization already, how have you reformed yourself? Former “good girls”, please do share.
[/quote]

Hugs, OP. I went through the same thing. I pretty much snapped after my xH cheated after years of me putting him and our kids first, and driving myself into the ground trying to be the perfect wife and mom so he’d be happy.

I went through about a 2 year depression but now that I’m out of it, I feel completely free. Just free. I can do what I want, wear what I want, talk how I want, sleep with whoever I want.

What it’s looked like for me:

- I sleep with attractive men whenever I want to. I was taught to not be shallow, don’t be a gold digger, etc. Screw that. My expectation now is that he looks good, will spend money on me, and will take me out for a good time (both in and out of bed). If he isn’t attractive and willing to spend money, not worth my time.

- Stronger boundaries with my kids. I used to do so much for them out of guilt and obligation. I don’t anymore. There’s still lots of love, but mom isn’t the servant anymore.

- I take care of my body, workout daily, do my hair and makeup daily, and show off a lot of skin. No, I don’t look as good as a 24 year old. Who cares. I didn’t get to flaunt it when I was young, happy to do so now. I even post some thirst traps on IG.

- This one is a bit crazy, but I did go full Office Space with work because I didn’t GAF if they fired me. It’s actually worked out better, they respect me more because I say no and have boundaries.

- I’ve considered doing OF. I’ve known people who have and it’s a lot of money. And there’s demand for MILFs. Haven’t taken the plunge yet, but I’m thinking about it. [/quote]

Everything you described is about superficiality and being a worse person. That’s not freedom. That’s trauma. [/quote]

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