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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]250 texts a day?  WTF is there to talk about with anybody that much?  Guy would drive me crazy (if I was on the receiving end of the texts).[/quote]

They both sound really needy (the husband and the affair partner) which is normal in an affair. There is at least some level of desperation. OP read up on emotional affairs, affairs in general. They run a predictable course. My husband was so awful during his affair, not just to me but to our family, and frankly to himself. Affairs are about instant gratification so you don't have a lot of patience when you are not with your "drug" of another partner. It was torture, but I was like, well she can have him. She didn't seem so great either considering she was also married with kids.

It's taken me a year of dealing with his EA to finally feel normal again. Infatuation is powerful, but it doesn't last. [/quote]

Did you divorce or separate? Or are you still together? [/quote]

We are still together. We went to counseling and basically rebuilt our marriage from the ground up. Still have a long way to go, but we are doing much better. I think his EA partner is getting divorced.

When we hit a crisis point in our life we often think another man or woman can save us. We want to re-invent ourselves and infatuation lets us do that - we are funnier and sexier and more compassionate than we thought. It's like waking up and feeling alive again. But it doesn't last. Reality always moves things from the extreme to the center. The intensity lessens and things settle down. If you want to become a better man or a better woman, you have to do the work yourself and not rely on someone to do it for you. My DH finally realized that. His affair partner was just a woman, with flaws and needs to be met just like any woman. She was an almost 40 year old soon-to-be single mom divorced coworker with a desperate need to make a man want her, whether that man was married or not. She was not going to save him and make him a better man, and he was not going to rescue her from her unhappy life and make it all better.

It was shocking to realize how much growing up he had to do, but I had a lot of growing up to do too and ultimately we had said for better or worse. If this was worse I needed to work it through it. It sucked but we learned a lot.  [/quote]

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