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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you pushed him to have more kids than he wanted, and you don’t work, and now you want him to share in parenting and you’re surprised he’s not into it?

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OP here. [b]No, having the amount of kids that we do was a joint decision.[/b] No one was forced into anything.

Also, I don't understand how a parent, male or female, is excused from parenting duties, no matter their feelings? Guess I'm "old school" there..? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lastly, I work my tail off (to put it lightly) to take care of all of our kids. Hardest f*****g job ever and no, I don't get paid but they doesn't take away from the fact that I *do* work, it just isn't outside the home, so it's always dismissed.[/quote]

So what’s his excuse then? Has he ever assisted with the kids? [/quote]

OP here.

The amount of times he has taken the initiative to take care of our kids, I can count on two hands. Even when he sees me struggling, he doesn't step up.

He doesn't even pick up our baby when crying - if I am unable to at the moment, I have to ask him to pick up the baby so that baby doesn't end up spitting up everywhere due to the crying - I mean, who is like that?

On weekends, he won't feed the kids breakfast to allow me to get a quick bite. No, he has to take care of himself and get coffee first. At outings, I'm left to juggle everything between playtime, diapers, getting the kids food, nap time for baby, etc.

He doesn't step up to say he'll get the older kids food so I can feed baby or eat something for myself. He won't play with the kids despite their pleas.

He treats outings as purely social for himself while I'm left to do everything and not have much meaningful connection with family and friends when we are out.

Basically I have to be a nagging wife which everyone hates. Which further leads to more resentment.[/quote]

I mean, he has a job that is high level enough to bring home a lot of income to support your family and let you stay home. Usually when one person works in a high pay job and the other is staying home with 3 kids, there's a pretty stark division of labor, and the sahp doesn't expect much involvement by the other parent.

You say you were in full agreement with him to have three kids, but if he's such a terrible father, you must have seen this with kid #1? And certainly by kid #2 right? Why'd you have three kids with him?  I think you need to be honest with yourself about what the formal or informal expectation of division of labor was and if you're just mad now because you figured out how much work it is.  [/quote]

OP here. He works from home, so not to try and minimize, but he sits at a desk all day whereas I'm on my feet all day, every day.

At the end of his workday, he comes downstairs and zones out on his phone or tablet, texts co-workers, posts on forums, buys expensive toys, or simply enjoys his own hobbies.

I do not get a breather for myself or even a shower alone (because my oldest likes to come and visit with me to talk and sometimes get away when she is upset because of her dad).

So yes, it is hard work for myself, but I do expect to have a partner to help raise the kids. They are his kids, after all.[/quote]

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