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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you pushed him to have more kids than he wanted, and you don’t work, and now you want him to share in parenting and you’re surprised he’s not into it?

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OP here. [b]No, having the amount of kids that we do was a joint decision.[/b] No one was forced into anything.

Also, I don't understand how a parent, male or female, is excused from parenting duties, no matter their feelings? Guess I'm "old school" there..? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lastly, I work my tail off (to put it lightly) to take care of all of our kids. Hardest f*****g job ever and no, I don't get paid but they doesn't take away from the fact that I *do* work, it just isn't outside the home, so it's always dismissed.[/quote]

So what’s his excuse then? Has he ever assisted with the kids? [/quote]

OP here.

The amount of times he has taken the initiative to take care of our kids, I can count on two hands. Even when he sees me struggling, he doesn't step up.

He doesn't even pick up our baby when crying - if I am unable to at the moment, I have to ask him to pick up the baby so that baby doesn't end up spitting up everywhere due to the crying - I mean, who is like that?

On weekends, he won't feed the kids breakfast to allow me to get a quick bite. No, he has to take care of himself and get coffee first. At outings, I'm left to juggle everything between playtime, diapers, getting the kids food, nap time for baby, etc.

He doesn't step up to say he'll get the older kids food so I can feed baby or eat something for myself. He won't play with the kids despite their pleas.

He treats outings as purely social for himself while I'm left to do everything and not have much meaningful connection with family and friends when we are out.

Basically I have to be a nagging wife which everyone hates. Which further leads to more resentment.[/quote]

Your kids are all four years apart, so after you had the first kid you had over three years of him being...a neglectful parent? And then you decided to have a second kid... And then more than three years later a third kid?! I'm sorry, I'm having trouble believing this. [/quote]

This is the part that’s really baffling. And I agree with the PP who mentioned that there tends to be bright lines about the division of labor when one parent works they type of job that brings in a high income and the other stays at home. From his perspective he may feel it’s you not pulling your weight. That’s why counseling might help if you can be open to hearing his thoughts. [/quote]

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