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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People here seem to think they are Kindergarten teachers trying to schedule and divide up chores and stuff.

Just do it. [/quote]

Yeah.. Don't understand giving a grown ass adult a list of things to do.. Do they not have eyes? Not know what needs to be done - cleaning, errands wise?   Are they even an adult?

Playing momma' /teacher/taskmaster to you spouse ..That's a huge turn off.  Huge Red flag. [/quote]

My husband never needed a list until we had kids. I think he has a lot of subconscious programming that anything related to kids is a female task. He's not like this with anything else. I clean more than he does but he cooks more than I do. We split non-kid admin pretty evenly. Sometimes we disagree about how frequently or well something has to be done but that's a personal preference thing.

But if I want him to do ANY kid-related activity, I have to assign it to him, explain how to do it, and he will often still ask for help or get frustrated and give up and just leave it for me anyway. It's really frustrating. At this point he will do tasks that fairly basic where I've done all the prep work. Like he'll make lunches IF I have already figured out what is going in them and bought everything and prepped it. Or he'll do drop off or pick up but I have to learn all the logistics about how it works and give him step by step instructions -- he will refuse to do it the first day or week of school or an activity because he claims he doesn't know how and will "get it wrong." I've explained to him that I was not born knowing how to sign kids out of camp and that I too mess these things up sometimes and just learn by trial and error, but he doesn't acknowledge that.

I'm spent a long time trying to find kid-related tasks that he can just own to take them off my plate, but he always finds a way to push them back on me. So all that's left is for me to assign him discrete tasks and, if necessary, show him how to do them or do all the prep to help him do them. It's not equal and I really feel the "invisible labor" aspect of parenthood so often I'm doing 95% of something but he's doing "last mile delivery." But we're too far into to do anything about it now.[/quote]

You sound quite intense and must be a handfull to handle. Saying that so that you might reflect on your own shortcomings and obsessive thoughts and better your marriage. (Look at that wall of text!)[/quote]

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