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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back and thanks again--really appreciate the input.

I should have clarified earlier that if my parents even hinted any of what I'm describing to DD it would be game over, I would vigorously push back at them, and they would be out of the loop pronto. But I actually don't think they will say anything to her, they will just say it all to me. I could be wrong, it's just a hunch right now.

I guess I need to think of what language to use. If they say, "So Larla took the SATs this morning, when will she get scores?" do I just say, "sorry, I can't share that with you"? Do we leave for a 5-day college visit and not even tell them we're away? Do we lie about where we're going? Maybe I'm making this too complicated but despite everything I love my parents, they have their flaws as we all do but also have good hearts, they are old and vulnerable in certain ways, and while I of course want to protect myself (which is why I'm posting here), I don't want to cause them unnecessary pain. I guess a solution may be to be as vague as possible while still sharing a very little bit.[/quote]

OP the problem is you, not your parents. You’re still their little pleaser. [/quote]

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