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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back and thanks again--really appreciate the input.

I should have clarified earlier that if my parents even hinted any of what I'm describing to DD it would be game over, I would vigorously push back at them, and they would be out of the loop pronto. But I actually don't think they will say anything to her, they will just say it all to me. I could be wrong, it's just a hunch right now.

I guess I need to think of what language to use. If they say, "So Larla took the SATs this morning, when will she get scores?" do I just say, "sorry, I can't share that with you"? Do we leave for a 5-day college visit and not even tell them we're away? Do we lie about where we're going? Maybe I'm making this too complicated but despite everything I love my parents, they have their flaws as we all do but also have good hearts, they are old and vulnerable in certain ways, and while I of course want to protect myself (which is why I'm posting here), I don't want to cause them unnecessary pain. I guess a solution may be to be as vague as possible while still sharing a very little bit.[/quote]

It depends on what you want. I’m assuming that you cannot tell your parents to hold their judgment? Or even if you do, it won’t be successful?

So the question is do you want a little more space and distance? Or do you want to deal with your own anxiety when they ask questions and judge? This is your lane to pick. [/quote]

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