Reply to Child Starting K Will Have Extreme Difficulty Separating

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[quote=Anonymous]School psychologist here. Agree with many suggestions already given. Here are some additional ideas:

-make sure you attend open house or other events for kindergarteners before school starts. If this isn't offered, email the school and ask if you and your child can come visit during pre-service week to see the classroom, etc. with you there
-try to make the separation as quick as possible. It's hard, but the longer and more drawn out it is just delays the process. What I look for when distinguishing between "normal separation" and possible problems is how the child does after the parent leaves. Do they cry in the hallway or classroom and eventually join the class, even if inhibited? Do they become aggressive and elope the building? Do they cry all day? Most kids with separation problems will cry a bit and eventually join the class. If this isn't the case, then we go from there. But the key is having the parent drop off and leave, and we take it from there. The hardest cases to address are when the parent has reinforcement the behavior for a long time. 
-This sounds rough, but having a "non-preferred" parent or other adult do the drop off. Some kids have an easier time separating from dad than from mom. Or maybe they can transition from a parent to an aunt, and then have an easier time separating from the aunt at school drop off. 
-be consistent in the drop off routine! This has been mentioned, but it is so important. If you drop off at the school door, stick with that. If the classroom, stick with that. The routine is key. Transition objects (something of yours to bring in) can help, too.

On a different note, has the preschool raised any concerns about your child's social skills, emotional or behavioral functioning, or anything else, separate from the separation anxiety? If so, I'd suggest an eval. If concerns are only limited to separation anxiety, I'd give kindergarten some time. [/quote]

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