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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At 7 I encouraged my kid to do the following:

- Use the bathroom on her own in restaurants or retail stores where we knew that was a safe idea
- Order from counters on her own, or go up and politely request a fork or napkin if needed
- Play at the playground across the street on her own as long as one of us was within shouting distance
- Walk to a friend's house two blocks away on her own, with confirmation text from friend's mom when she arrived
- Make her bed and straighten up her room on her own, and do basic cleaning of her bathroom (I generally had to go over the bathroom a second time but this helped her build som skills to be more independent with it later)
- Make clothing and hairstyle decisions independently
- Decide if/when she wants to get her ears pierced (she chose to delay it)

This felt like a good set because most of these are a precursor to greater independence but can be done with some supervision so you aren't just pushing your 7 yr old to be totally on her own. Walking to her friends house on a safe and familiar neighborhood street was a precursor to walking toad from school alone (half mile) a couple years later). Being more independent in stores and restaurants made us more confident that she could handle herself later when she wanted to go in places on her own or with friends. Same with playing at a playground within earshot but not us being physically present. Allowing her to make mistakes with cleaning and personal hygiene at 7 helped us identify where she needed more info and skills, so we could provide some instruction, so that by 10 or 11 she could be truly independent with this stuff.

My goal was for things to be somewhat gradual, which means starting fairly early and allowing her not to be perfect at it, and being supportive through that trial and error process. What I wanted to avoid was her suddenly becoming very independent at 13 or 14 but making ALL the mistakes at an age when she is far less likely to listen to instruction from us. She's almost 13 now and while of course I still worry about her, I also trust her and know she has a lot of skill and maturity. I can imagine her as a teenager doing teenage things and it doesn't terrify me. She has a good head on her shoulders.[/quote]

You seem totally normal but I will say that 7 year old girls don't need to be going to public restrooms alone in restaurants and stores. Train them on the buddy system. When they are out with friends later on, you want it to be second nature to grab a buddy to find a public restroom (at a stadium, mall, bar, etc.). My kids are teens now and pretty independent (driving, etc), but they have been habituated to the buddy system and don't wander off from the group to find far-flung restrooms. Admittedly my two DD's are one year apart, so it was easier to make them go together when they were younger, but still...[/quote]

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