Reply to Moving south and hesitant to adopt a different race- advice?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Moving south and hesitant to adopt a different race- advice?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Race is one of the toughest things to deal with in the US. Living in a highly diverse area or having lots of multicultural friends and family can help. But nothing can prepare you for hearing someone call your child the N-word to your face while you're holding his hand in the supermarket. Think hard about this one and don't be naive. Love is not enough. "

This.[/quote]

I'm the transracial adoptive parent who posted near the beginning of the thread.

To be honest, this isn't the hard part.  Dealing with people who are obviously and easily recognizable as racists is relatively easy.  You remove your child from the situation and once they're safe and away you explain how the person is wrong.

The hard parts?  Dealing with the very sweet, very nice teacher who clearly loves your child but recommends him for the "on track" math class, while his classmates who seem similar in ability to you when you volunteer get sent to "honors".   Or sending your child on an admissions visit to your first choice private school, which is also your alma mater, with a cold, and having the admissions director ask you if his slightly slowed reaction time (due to being stuffed up and tired) was because he is a "crack baby"?   Trying to sort out what is racism and what isn't, what is a threat to your child and what isn't can be hugely difficult especially if you didn't grow up thinking about these issues.

Or realizing that that the white privilege that you've been swimming in your whole life and are just being able to share with your child.  Knowing that your son's 13th birthday will  mean that he gets to sit in the front seat, and also that you can anticipate being pulled over by cops approaching your car on the right side.  Having to teach your child to be careful about what and how he picks up in the store, lest he be accused of stealing.  Trying to decide whether to bring your own child with you when you're apartment hunting because you know you likely won't be approved to rent after people meet him.

Obvious racism is way easier to deal with than the subtle stuff.  [/quote]

You forgot one thing - not being able to discuss the issues you listed above with friends and  family because they minimize them and tell you that you are being too sensitive or imagining things.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics