Reply to quick shoulder rub, quick pat on back, quick circular petting on back

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What about tapping a person’s shoulder or upper arm to get their attention in a crowded room/group where it’s noisy?

FTR, I’m a woman who did that to a male colleague and was surprised when he seemed startled/upset by it.

It was at a conference event in a ballroom with 1k+ people hustling past each other looking for their assigned tables, etc. It was loud. It was dimly lit as well. I needed to get his attention to ask him a work-related question for someone working the event and I figured tapping his shoulder/arm would be less abrupt/more polite.

Given his response, I made a mental note to never touch anyone at work again. And that’s weird imho. People I interact with professionally who aren’t employed by my company are more engaging and touch people without issue (handshakes, hugs, pat on the back, joking nudge, etc.). [/quote]

To me that seems appropriate in the same circumstances I probably would have done the same thing.  However, given these responses, it appears that as a 54 yo woman, I’m outdated.  I’m not sure what the new etiquette would recommend - shouting in his ear, moving in front of him and waving my arms like semaphores?

All these people saying there should be absolutely no physical contact at work ever, are they including handshakes and COVID fist bumps in their prohibitions against physical contact?[/quote]

Handshakes and fist bumps invite contact. You are putting your hand out and if they want to, they can respond and touch you. That is different from touching someone without an invitation or consent. [/quote]

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