Reply to Student attacked in bathroom of elementary school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just food for thought:

I'm an elementary school counselor, and talk with kids almost daily about bullying situtions.  Often there is not a clearly identified "bully" and a "victim," and suspension is not always the right way to deal with it.

This week, I had irate parents who swore thier dd was being physically assaulted by a much larger boy in her class.   She reported that he had yelled swear words at her and chased her and that she was afraid.  Sounds pretty clear cut, yes?  The AP and I both got email castigating us for  not taking bullying seriously, not doing enough, etc.   They wanted this boy's head on a platter!  When I investigated, it turned out that the day before, the girl had organized a group of her friends to harrass this boy -- an awkward, friendless new kid from the midwest -- calling him nasty names and making him afraid to come to school.  When they started on him again on the way home from school, he retaliated by screaming at them and running toward them.  The girl neglected to mention this part of the story to her parents, however!  So who was the bully to be punished?

It sounds like in the case of the OP, the big kids who forced the situation need more supervision and some kind of consequence, perhaps "community service" in the classroom of the little ones they egged on?   Please don't label the little one who did the hitting as a bully, though.  And please know that at many, many schools bullying is taken very seriously and dealt with appropriately.  You just may not be seeing the whole picture.[/quote]

I really appreciate this post, and the earlier one by the AP. I think everything you have said it valid.
My biggest concern at this point (from what we've been told about this situation) is that the school personnel did not contact OP. OP got this information from her child. If a kid is running out of bathrooms, asking adults for help, and visiting the nurses office, why on earth is the school not contacting the parent? I get a phone call every single time my kid has ever visited the nurse's office, even when it turns out to be a completely minor thing (this isn't bullying related incidents, just a standard nurse visit.) It's just and automatic communication between school personnel and parents.
I know their are privacy issues, and school can't share everything that is happening or what they are doing, but it's just common sense for them to be proactive and contact the parents, right?
Your thoughts?[/quote]

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