Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We have a 4yo and a 4 mo.  Before #2 came along, #1 was mommy this mommy that, I want mommy.  Pretty typical I guess. Naturally, mommy had the bulk of the child care activities.  Since #2 came along, I've taken over the care of #1 (yes, it's wayyyy easier than a newborn, i know).  #2 also seems to be consoled by mommy only so guess who gets all the carrying duties? Mommy of course.  I get that she's tired.  I don't really know what else to do.

[/quote]

9:34 here.  You sound a lot like my DH.  I think it was easy for him to write off our second child because "he wants you."  Of course it's a matter of getting used to Daddy caring for you, and because DH shied away from it, #2 didn't want DH.  It became a vicious circle.  You need to pitch in more to lighten her load.  You should also carve out some *us time* with your wife.  Do you have family or friends that can help with the children?  Can you afford a sitter?  Take her out on a regular date night.  Take over kid duties on the weekend and send her out for some pampering.  Starting to feel more like myself and less like a walking milk machine/diaper changer helped immensely.  Make her feel appreciated.

If you are already pulling your weight around the house, go out of your way to tell her how much you appreciate her.  Hearing that your needed and wanted goes a long way when you're stressed out and exhausted beyond all reason.[/quote]

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