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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all of your thoughts here.

I’m choosing the path of forgiveness and letting her grieve. She has so many bursts of emotions and we’ve tried to be so supportive, staying with us for months after his death so she wouldn’t have to be alone.

So I will continue to forgive and pull up as much understanding as I can muster and then remove myself from her vicinity (physically and mentally) when it gets to me.

FWIW, my husband is so supportive. It is just hard to see her emotionally blackmail and abuse him.[/quote]

Enabling toxic behavior may seem kind but it’s not. Your MIL is using grief as an excuse to abuse people, demand that she is the center of the universe and get attention. This will only make her and everyone around her miserable. She won’t be able to form other relationships because new friends and neighbors will not put up with this. This will make her more angry and lonely. She needs to get into grief counseling and or therapy. You all have to calmly call her out when she behaves horribly not roll over thinking you are being gracious. You are not. [/quote]

Agree. OP, you think you're being kind, but you're not. Help her to start nudging her way back to being a reasonable human being. She didn't event loss and grieving. She needs therapy and you really should not stand by witnessing your spouse being manipulated and treated poorly. Seriously. [/quote]

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