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[quote=Anonymous]My oldest is going into hs, and I have always handled like you did — talk to parents and get to know them. For little kids, hanging out for a bit if we haven’t met prior is appropriate. I would always offer that as well. Plus, you might make a friend.

I have had parents of middle schoolers we’ve had over chat before dropping their kids off the first time. I try to at least introduce myself to parents. Especially as they get older though, re getting into trouble, I am more concerned about my comfort level with the kid.

Anyway, you can’t know everything about someone always, but you can learn a lot by getting to know people. You’d be surprised what comes up or what you observe. I had one instance when my kids were little where I saw a lot of red flags. I wouldn’t have been shocked if there was an unsecured gun or other danger. I just stuck around and talked (the mom was nice, just very lax/free range). Then basically made excuses in the future, and it was fine - relationship fizzled out, but it wouldn’t have worked anyway.

Re friend sleepovers, we didn’t allow in elementary school. Molesting or guns weren’t specific concerns, more that a lot can go wrong with so much time unsupervised. We have made some exceptions as the kids have gotten older.

[quote=Anonymous]We've recently moved into the world of drop of playdates with families we don't really know - oldest is 5.5, he's been making new friends at camp and was invited over to play last weekend.

How do people handle this generally? It's not guns that worry me as much as creepy/crappy parents, but it's really hard to know/judge. I ended up staying for about 30 mins and chatting until both my kid and I felt comfortable, then I left. I don't think I'm comfortable just dropping my kid off at someone's house who's parent I've never met (we had just exchanged numbers via notes in backpacks from camp) so that felt like a reasonable middle ground. Interested to hear from other folks about how you handle this and how you feel about it.

My other concern is actually unsupervised screens. Like, I do not want my kid alone in a room with his friend and an iPad. Is that something to ask about? Will parents be honest? How best to phrase?

Would love some wisdom from parents of older kids who have been through this. [/quote][/quote]

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