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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I told husband I might want a divorce "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The first year of having a kid is a shock. Hire extra help and do whatever you can to keep your marriage strong. When we only had one, my husband and I would do 50/50 on the weekends - each take a two hour shift or whatever so we got time for ourselves on the weekends to do chores or just relax. Also teach the baby to sleep well. Newborns sleep so much that you can get a lot of free time to yourself if you follow wake windows and teach them to sleep independently. Lastly, beware of the mental load coming out of maternity leave - my mat leaves were long and I did everything since my husband was working. Then the balance was very uneven when I went back to work and never really recovered. I don’t particularly mind as I like being the default parents but I do get resentful sometimes since we both work full time.[/quote] Yeah it is a shock that he decided she can suffer pretty much unilaterally. I am not exaggerating when I say that my exDH’s decision to opt out of the bulk of childcare in the first year (especially during the NB stage) was almost a trauma to me - I had no local support and the whole year was like a non-stop emotional emergency to me. (yes, I also worked FT.) our relationship did not recover from what I consider to be his fundamental betrayal of me and utter lack of regard. That said, OP needs to focus now on putting on her oxygen mask to be able to get through the year and then figure out what comes next. [/quote]
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