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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This guy sounds like a loser. Instead of asking you to downgrade to match him, he should be up-leveling to meet you at your level. You will compromise and downgrade every aspect of your life if you stay with him.[/quote]

OP, unfortunately I agree with this person.

I married someone who was not on equal financial footing and it set the stage for YEARS of resentment.

And I say that as someone who didn't and doesn't have money (think $85k in DC when I bought my first place, still in low $100s). He had been married and didn't have any savings.

I bought a place when we were dating and "hoped to get married," like you. I bought my home under my name only and he moved in.

He resented it -- now he's my ex and still mentions it when he gets mad LOL. He felt like he should have been on the title even though we weren't married or engaged. Sorry, kiddo.

You will downgrade your life to meet his abilities and his sensitivities and it sucks. I promise you.

So (1) don't move in with him before you are engaged, (2) don't move forward until he's worked through his sensitivities and trauma, (3) if he does move in, have him sign a lease as a tenant, (4) don't ever buy something with him without being married and make sure you have a prenup to protect your equity.

He's going to cause you heartache, I'm sorry to say. I say this from experience. At least set things up legally so that you maintain your equity if you decide to move forward.[/quote]

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